How I Celebrated My One Year Cancer Free Annivarsary

One year ago (yesterday) I had a radical hysterectomy done because I had Stage 1B1 Cervical Cancer. Now that a year has past I am finally feeling back to my old self and although it has gone by quickly, my body really did take nearly a full year to recover. I really wanted to do something special today to ring in my anniversary but I didn't want to make it just about me. I've shared my story with you a couple times now so I wanted to celebrate and help St. Jude Children's Research Hospital at the same time.

St. Jude Hospital in Memphis

 

For my anniversary I did what I do best, run! I put together a Fun Run/Walk with friends to benefit St. Jude. You may have seen my St. Jude run posts on facebook or even the website, it's a charity I've been very passionate about, even more so, after finding out I had cancer. I was a lucky one! I only required surgery as a cure but it still brought along similar hardships, especially the financial hardship. When your fighting for your life, or your child's life, the last thing you ever want to have to think about is a bill. That's why I'm such a strong supporter of St. Jude, no family ever even see's a bill, not for treatment, food, lodging or even travel expenses. Because St. Jude is non-profit and a research hospital they SHARE their information with doctors and hospitals around the WORLD! How can you not want to support a place like that?

I asked my friends and family on my one year Anniversary to join me in celebrating and supporting St. Jude by making a minimum $10 donation to the St. Jude Run I'll be doing this summer. I also asked them to go for a walk or a run, anywhere/time on May 13th, or they could join me at Grandview Drive and we can run together. Of course not everyone who wanted too could join, because its a Tuesday morning, but the donations have flooded my in box ALL DAY!  I'm so excited to announce my little "fun run" has brought in $750!!!!!!

My friends who were able to walk and run!

What was so special to me is that friends who are also St. Jude runners showed up and donated! And one of my friends, Jess (Run With Jess-who also gave me the idea of organizing the run), made some teal ribbon cookies (teal is the color for gynecological cancers) for us to enjoy after the run. I had so many left over I brought them to the radio station and asked everyone to donate a couple bucks for a cookie and that brought in another $30!

Yummy F.U Cancer cookies, in teal to represent Cervical Cancer.

Taking a bite out of cancer!

If you'd like to join the donation party please log on to www.peoriaruns.stjude.org/akinkade and make at least a $10 donation.

Now with out furter ado here are the BIG WINNERS in my prizes I had up for grabs. Everyone who donated on or before yesterday was entered into the drawing.

-a $50 Gift Certificate to Running Central - BETH SCROFF
-a pair of General Admission tickets to the Indy 500 SUSAN RENNER
-one box of my favorite energy drink Spark from AdvoCare!!! TINA MORRIS
-Free 6 Month membership at World Gym-Peoria! HEATHER HAYES
-Free Oil Change and Full Car Detail from Green's Finish Line Ford JENNIFER JACOBSEN WOOD
-a $50 gift certificate for Arbonne BARB JOHNSON

I want to shout out to everyone who joined me on my run today and also those to donated: Matt N., Run With Jess, Melissa C., Tina M., Brittany K., Maria D., Amy J., Steve W., Brandy C., Deanna C., Laura L., Oralia Z., Pam P., Kelly B., Scott & Amy M., Jennifer J-W., Bob & Margaret M., Brian & Kate D., Barb J., Diane B., Lindsey N., Patricia C., Teresa S., Carla W., Heather H., Susan R., Cassi Z., Karla J., Beth S., Tracy S., Robynn M., Jeanette H., Yolanda M., Biel A., Oralia Z. and Monique W..

Special shout out to my Matty too because it really made my day that he took the afternoon off of work to run with me. He really had his hands full this past year as I had some struggles. I'm lucky I have such a calm, patient man because calm and patient is what I am not. Love him more every day for always sticking by my side, I may hate him when he pushes me but love him when I succeed.

Training Begins Soon For the Lincoln Half

Although I already knew it Nike kindly reminded me that training for my next big race, Lincoln National Guard Marathon and HalfMarathon, begins in one week! 

My BFF lives in Lincoln, NE and has tried to get me to do this race for a few years, stupidly I’ve always had an excuse why I couldn’t, I’m a bad friend. That comes to end this year and I’m bringing along another friend for the ride (Run With Jess).  This whole thing actually came about when I saw that Jess was debating this or another race. I mentioned if she did this one, I’d do it with her and we can share the drive, then I mentioned the above BFF had free room and board, Jess simply replied “sold”. 

The BFF

This is a big race for me; its nearly a month to the date that I beat cancer (May 13^th) and had my hysterectomy. From the get go everyone has said it takes nearly a year to recover completely from this surgery (and I did the old fashioned abdominal way too) so I am really hoping that this will be my true “big comeback”. 

Run With Jess

I’ve decided I really want to push for this race and to follow a more aggressive training plan so I’m going back to my trusty Nike plan. The Milwaukee Marathon beat me up bad, I was only just recovering and running was HARD-the hardest its ever been and it always left me exhausted. I want to be disciplined with my training, my diet and give this my 100% focus.

Yeah what the shirt says!!!

Now, that I’ve hit that year mark I want to be that athlete I thought I was going to be in 2013 before cancer turned my life upside down. I’ll try to not compare myself. I’ll try to not be hard on myself. I’ll simply try my best.

If I happen to PR in the end well, that will be a bonus!

~Anna

Recap: Milwaukee Lakefront Marathon

I know I know, its been nearly two weeks and just NOW I'm getting around to posting my recap of the Milwaukee Lakefront Marathon. Overall, I don't have anything bad to say its well organized, smaller race (which I like) on a nearly flat or downhill course. So what's my problem? I think I'm just burnt out and I'm still looking at a half marathon this weekend in Mankato, MN.

I had no expectations for the Lakefront, I did have hopes of a PR but decided to run what felt good. I lined up with the 4:20 pace group to start, but my pace felt quicker and I ended up with the 4:15 group and I held with them for about half of the race. Early on my bladder got the best of me and at miles 6 I had to hit a toilet. The first 6 miles were a breeze and I was really jazzed. 1st quarter (miles 1-6): averaged 9:30-:40 pace.

During the "2nd Quarter" I settled into my run and got comfortable with my pace and didn't try to push, I knew I had a long way to go, so just keep it cool. I hit my first snag in the run; the water stations weren't exactly every 2 miles and it threw me off because my plan was GU at 6 & 22 and to eat half of a PR Bar at miles 12 & 18. So under 11 miles in I saw the water station coming up and had to quickly try to eat my bar but I couldn't and I had to stop at the station longer than I wanted, so I could wash it down and I lost the pace group I was with and could never catch up. Miles 6-12 pace 9:30ish.

Once I reached "the half" I was still feeling great and was only slowing down by about 10 seconds, my legs were getting achy but my cardio felt strong and I just continued to smile and focus on my run. My mind was starting to get a little heavy but I just payed attention to my music and let it carry me along and I just continued to float though my "third quarter". Once I reached the 16 mile mark a lady had said "We're in the single digits now!" and it was at that point I knew I would finish. Mile 12-18 pace 9:40ish

After 18 miles I started counting down I was now in my "Fourth Quarter" and in my mind the quarter ended at mile 24 (I'll explain soon) so I counted down the miles to that point (such a no-no for me too) so I focused on getting lost myself in my music. I thought a lot about my friends that inspire me; Jeff because he was the reason for doing this, Jess because she was my biggest supporter, Matty for reasons I cannot even put into words-he's had his hands full with my post-hysterectomy/cancer craziness and he's still here and as crazy as it sounds I thought about the local band Mindset Evolution and how they've given up a lot to live out their dream and are loving every second of it. I also thought about something I say in my classes a lot "this is going to hurt a little but everything worth fighting for always does" and it was then that I broke down "the wall" and next thing I knew my fourth quarter was up....Miles 18-24 9:55ish average.

Now its overtime, but I kept calling it "my run", the last 2.2 miles was just for me. At this point in the race I broke out of the neighborhoods and came down this long, glorious hill and all I could see was the beautiful Lake Michigan Lakefront (hence Lakefront Marathon), the fall colors we breathtaking and as a bonus the sun was out, it was now warm and comfortable and this was it, this was my finish. Over and over I heard people shouting my name and encouragement and I turned into that cheeseballen runner girl, although in pain I had a HUGE smile plastered on my face. I've overcome so much and this was that one last thing I wanted to make it through. My last mile was by far the toughest and the slowest but it didn't matter, I was almost done I just had to keep my legs moving, it was my own little victory. Then there it was, the finish line full of people cheering, the lakefront and the finish, I was done! 

Final Finish 4:17:16 and in a super weird coincidence I was just 3 seconds slower than my first marathon. Five months after cancer, 5 months after major surgery and only 10 weeks of training and starting over from scratch...ok I'll take it!

Want To See My Marathon Shirt?

Ever since I realized I was going to be capable of running the Milwaukee Lakefront Marathon (this Sunday) I knew I wanted to make it special, I mean just coming this far in such a short period of time should be celebrated. No matter how pretty or ugly those 26.2 miles are I wanted to have fun with it, so time to dress it up. I enlisted my friend Jess (Run With Jess) to help me out and she came up with FOUR amazing ideas, one of which was my original idea but I was worried it was "too much". Well, Jess did TOO GOOD of a job designing the shirts because I couldn't decided which to wear.

 

See my problem!

I blogged, I facebooked and Jess even recruited her loyal followers to cast the vote. Instantly there were two stand outs #2 "Ran Cancer Out" and #4 "5 Months Ago". I told the boyfriend about the designs and he simply said "It's OK I'll decide for you" and I was a bit worried because he was the one who put the bug in my head that my initial idea was "too much".

Jess prepping the iron on decal courtesy of www.runnerdecals.com
find her also on facebook here.

He took one look and picked one with out hesitation, Yes, he picked the original design. ha ha I told Jess and her reply "I'm glad he came around, that's the one you need to go with". She's right, always trust your instincts! Sunday I'm running a marathon, I'm running off of 10 weeks of training, I'm running after starting completely over again (I returned with run/walk intervals building back up from the very bottom) and I'm running after beating cervical cancer. It doesn't matter if I PR, I run the whole thing or even walk some and it doesn't matter if in 6 months from now or next year the shirt will be irrelevant what matters is now, this moment and that.....

 

Nike Should Sponsor ME!

Just Do It...no really just do it Nike and sponsor me!

The first pair of "real" running shoes I purchaced were Nike Free's and since then I've tried Brooks and Saucony but I've always kept coming back to Nike, they just do it for me. I run well and pain free, they fit my feet how I like and aren't too heavy. After this last time buying shoes and them not working (causing pain) I just went back to my Lunarglides and have vowed to no longer try something new.

This weekend I found my marathon outfit and guess what...its 100% Nike, lol total coincidence and it even matches my orange Lunar's. Honestly I normally just run/workout in Target workout wear. It's inexpensive, lasts a long time and works very well with me. With this big 26.2 looming I wanted to step up my outfit, honestly I'm never a "dress up" person for races; I pick something that fits the forecast and wear it, not giving two shits. However, with the whole cervical cancer/hysterectomy thing I wanted to do something...bigger. I don't know how pretty (or ugly) this full 'thon will be and no matter how I do I wanted to do it with pride because I really have overcome a lot (although I don't feel like it).

Teal it is! Teal is the color of gynecological cancers (like pink is for breast) and since I'm a cervical cancer survivor that's what I wanted to wear. This weekend I headed out to Dicks Sporting Goods and walked away with exactly what I wanted a teal top, but I also walked away with some crazy teal pants too (something new for me, I'm strictly a plain black pants girl) and to top it off....they were on clearance!

What do you think?

 

They even passed the run test (I'm a firm believer in NEVER running a race in something you haven't worn before) with my long run on Sunday (14 miles)!

Now the hard part...I was thinking of putting on the back "5 Months Ago I beat cancer, today 26.2" but as my mister pointed out, its long and wordy...help...suggestions?????

One Month Till Milwaukee Lakefront Marathon

Me after 18 miles last weekend.

Here I am nearly 3.5 months from having Cervical Cancer/Radical Hysterectomy/Lymphondectomy and exactly 1 month away from running a marathon.

I've got 4 full weeks left of training and I don't feel ready. I've been going through some not normal body stuff; I actually have feelings and cry now (YEAH can you believe that) sometimes I feel like I cannot control my emotions, probably just my body going through adjustments after the surgery (I do have ovaries still), I've gained weight (so hate that) and the one that drives me crazy is I sweat like CRAZY, I normally sweat a lot but it's SO bad now-when I'm done with a workout my shoes will be soaked in sweat like I was running through puddles but it's sweat not rain...so gross!

The weight gain has bothered me more than it should and its hurt my confidence big time. I'm having a really hard time taking the weight off, so much so I had my hormones and thyroid tested...they're normal. It's face the music time, I've got to hunker down and get serious. Small portions, better choices..plain and simple. Overall I'm glad to hear that, I hear doing hormone replacement can be a big trial and error and a long process, I've lost weight twice, I can do it again, just gotta focus.

I've also been doubting myself on every, single, long run, I always go into the LR thinking they are going to be hard, they're going to hurt and I wont be able to do it. I've done the big ones 16, 18 and 20 is coming next weekend, yet here I am going into my 2nd 14 miler this weekend and all I can think about how much its going to hurt and how hard it's going to be. I've said all along, me just being able to do this training and marathon is HUGE there are very few women who've had hysterectomies and abdominal ones for that matter that would even think a marathon 5 months later is possible. It was never a question of not going for it or saying maybe next year, so I don't know why I feel this way. I've got to get past this self-doubt funk I'm in; if you find my confidence will you return it please????

My Garmin died too. But honestly, I'm happy it was a POS anyway and once they came out with the new colorful Forerunner 10's I HAD to have one...in purple of course. The money was the big issue, with thousands of dollars in medical bills outstanding I really shouldn't and couldn't spend the measly $130 on a new one....but I did anyway. lol

This whole summer has been surreal. When I truly take a moment to sit back and think about it all, I still can't believe it...and I've lived it.

12 Weeks Post Op/Cervical Cancer Update

No news IS good new right? It sure is when it comes to my recovery, I haven't had much to say because there isn't much to say. I'm 11.5 weeks post hysterectomy and doing amazing. Just take a look at my numbers:

Milwaukee Lake Front Marathon Training Week 2
Longest Post Surgery Run 11 miles (on a rolling hill course) and done at a 9:25 pace.

 

Lake Delton, WI Dells (Nike pace is off I forgot to pause)

Three days later I followed it up with my longest bike ride ever...30 MILES! Yes I'm biking now too! During my recover we took our bikes in for tune ups and have been trying to get in a good ride every weekend. I love how much harder it is than I thought and its nice to be active, outdoors and do things I enjoy with my guy.

Now, I wish I could say everything is coming up roses but that's not the case. I have gained a little bit of weight and its been the hardest thing for me. I know my body isn't 100% healed and I'm sure the more I recover the weight will come off but its very hard for me, my clothes are VERY tight and I took pride that I was the smallest size ever pre-cancer/surgery so its really taken a toll on my confidence that I'm not there right now. Also, the hormones are out of wack. I can go from happy clam, to sad sally to pissed off diva all in a matter of minutes, I still have my ovaries but your body still has hormone adjustments it needs to go through. A few weeks ago I lost it and had a major break down I was Captain Queen of negativeville and I didn't just cry I bawled for nearly 4 hours straight until I finally fell asleep. I was very down about my weight, bills coming in, and for the first time during this whole ordeal I allowed myself to feel. I never was angry, or sad or scared throughout the whole ordeal, I held everything in check and this one day it all came out. I know I needed to feel and boy did I feel...like SHIT!

I'm mostly back to normal, I'm still disgusted with my weight, I don't think I'll be happy until my clothes are feeling normal again. I'm trying to accept that I had a major surgery and this IS expected but its hard, its probably my hardest battle during this whole process. I hate knowing I've lost my lifetime status at Weight Watchers, luckily have etools free till October, but I really want to get back to me meetings, I do better at them. But if I go...I have to pay and I can't do that right now. I need every spare penny I can because those pesky medical bills are rolling in, I have property taxes due, a mortgage and everything else everybody else has. I really try not to think about the money stuff, because it makes the depression and helplessness worse, so let's not go any further.

On the flip side, I'm healthy, I'm cancer free and I'm loved...what else can a person ask for in life?

National Running Day: A Recovery Update

I'm not running today or even tomorrow but I will soon, here's a little update on my progress so far.

Shhhh my running shoes are sleeping since I can't run yet! They are dreaming of all the miles they've logged an will rack up again soon!

 

I've been saying for the past few days I've been able to experience all the so called joys of pregnancy but without a uterus. I have mood swings (and I still have my ovaries' dammit), I constantly feel like I have to pee, my back aches, I can't sleep with out my body pillow, I get tired easily, my belly hurts and by the end of the day swells to the point where I look pregnant and to top it off none of my jeans fit so I wear a maternity band because I cannot stand dresses or yoga pants anymore. But...it could be worse.

 

For a woman who just had an abdominal hysterectomy I'm doing FAR FAR FAR better than most even better than some women who had theirs done laparoscopic and robotically. People who don't know me are shocked at when I returned to work, began driving and how much activity I am capable of doing. It's a testament that when you're physically fit and eat right it helps your recover at much better rate. At my two week post op appointment I was given the clear to easing back into exercise which I haven't done yet. I did try doing an RPM class and my abdominals are not strong enough for that yet. I even jogged across the street during one of my walks and came to the same conclusion, there just isn't any strength or support in my belly for those kind of activities yet.

 

To make sure I ease back into fitness properly and with out causing damage I'm meeting with a women's health specialist at Accelerated Rehab tomorrow and I'm very excited about this. I know my abs are very weak and that they need to be strengthened up before I even attempt any thing more than walking. Currently I am walking about 4 miles a day, I did try doing 5 miles and its crazy how that one extra mile is just too much for me right now. So I'm back at 4 and feel great with it and am walking faster and faster every day.

 

My goal right now is to still be able to run the St. Jude run the first weekend in August. I may not be able to cover the miles that I did last year but as long as I can go out there and do a couple of the runs I'll be happy. I hope to also be able to complete the marathon I had registered fore before my cancer diagnosis and surgery. However, If I can't I'm still grateful for what I am able to do so soon after this surgery and even more so to be cancer free.

 

I want to thank everyone for their thoughs, prayers, cards, well wishes and so on but I do ask you to please help me in the fight against cancer and donate $10 to the St. Jude Run here: www.stjudeporiaruns.org/akinkade

I Have Cervical Cancer

Cancer of the cervix is the 12th most common cancer in females in the United States and is a disease in which cancer (malignant) cells are found in the tissues of the cervix. Usually it grows very slowly over a long period of time. The tissues of the cervix go through changes, where cells that are not normal begin to appear; this precancerous change is known as dysplasia and is usually found during routine pap spears. Squamous cells in the most common form of cervical cancer, it is the cells that cover our body including the cervix, and this makes up about 85% of the cases. Adenocarcinoma (glad cancer) is the other major type and makes up about 15% of the cases, this is the type that I have and here is my story:

February 13, 2013: Was the date that I went to see my doctor for my annual exam and it was business as usual. Approximately two weeks later my doctors nurse called to tell me that the pap smear had come back abnormal so they would need to do a colposcopy, sonogram and an endocervical curettage.
March 5, 2013: I was back at the doctors office for my 2nd exam. I’ve had a colposcopy done before and it’s always come back normal, so there was no need for me to be worried. However the endocervical curettage he did hurt like a mother ****er! That is something I can go the rest of my life without ever having to do again. I’d have the results in a week or two.

March 12, 2013: I got the results and again this test came back abnormal and the first time I heard the "C" word. I would have to come back again for another procedure called a LEEP.

March 19, 2013: I had my LEEP done this day. When the doctor came in he said that the concern here was that the results were showing that the abnormalities were not just on the surface of my cervix but they were going inside of it, this is also the first time he mentioned I may need a hysterectomy. A LEEP is where the doctor uses an electric wire loop to slice off a thin, piece of cervical tissue. In 90-95% of cases this is a cure to the abnormal cells on the cervix. I was pretty nervous, but only because I thought it would hurt. Based on the results of the last exam doctor wanted to take two passes off of my cervix in hopes of getting all of the abnormal tissue. When I saw the doctor at this appointment I immediately knew it was time to take this seriously, although I’ve had LOTS of friends in the past week tell me they’ve had it done and its nothing. The way he spoke to me and his concern, I just knew this was bad. I’d know the results in a week. However, it two agonizing weeks for the results thanks to a computer problem at the pathology lab!

April 3, 2013: Doctor called me; I knew this can’t be good. All I remember was “you have mild invasive cancer of the cervix”. Doctor told me at this point he had to pass me along to a specialist, a gynecological oncologist, and that treatment would more than likely be a hysterectomy as this type of cancer is treated through surgery. The doctor may do radiation but it was unlikely and would depend upon the staging of my cancer. So began the week and a half from hell dealing with insurance, and I’ll spare you the details.
Monday April 15, 2013: This was day I was meeting my new doctor at the Illinois Cancer Care center in Peoria. I knew I didn’t need to worry based on all the reading I had done but here are I am, walking into a “cancer center”. I was frightened walking in but walking out I had no fear at all, my doctor explained cervical cancer, the kind that I have, how invasive it was and after examining me he also staged it at Stage 1b1 which means it’s a cancer confined to the cervix that is less than 4cm (1.6 inches) or less in size.

So what’s next?

I'll need to have a radical hysterectomy. This operation will remove my cervix, uterus, their supporting ligaments, and they will also do what is called a lymphadenectomy, which means they will also remove the lympyh nodes in the surrounding area. I’ll have to have the surgery done abdominaly because of all this, which means a longer more painful recovery and I’ll be hospitalized for a few days. That will be the hardest thing for me as I’m very active, no running and no teaching my classes, nothing. Prognosis for my future is 100%. Right now surgery is scheduled for Monday, May 13th (I'll miss Spring Fling...soooo sad) but they are trying to get me in sooner.

I share this with you because the only reason this was detected, treatable and my prognosis is 100% is because of that yearly exam, that found it early on. For the record I have had 15 YEARS of normal paps, this was my first abnormal one in that time period. Without that exam this could have gone undetected, I had no signs or symptoms, in fact I'm in the best physical shape of my life. Left undetected cervical cancer can be far worse and sometimes even deadly. If you are a woman reading this PLEASE make sure you are getting your yearly exam! If you’re a man and have a female in your life ask her if she gets her yearly exam. If she doesn’t, please share this with her and encourage her to do so. When you add the C-word it always makes something sound scary but I assure you the biggest worry here is that I have to undergo surgery. I assure you I will be fine, I'm not afraid or worried. The only reason I share my story is because I have the means to share this with many women and to stress the importance of getting that yearly exam.

If I’ve learned one thing in the past few months it’s that cancer is expensive and this is a non-life threatening one. I cannot help but think about the kids and families of St. Jude (because I’m a St. Jude Runner). This has given me 10 times the motivation to run for the kids this summer and to raise as much money as I possibly can because not only does St. Jude save lives every day but they also do it FREE! If you do anything for me at all, will you please make at least a $10 donation to St. Jude? www.stjudepeoriaruns.org/akinkade