Thursday, April 3, 2014

One Year Ago Today I Was Told I Had Cancer

Proudly wearingmy teal today for cervical cancer.
One year ago I heard those words no one ever expects or is prepared to hear ‘you have cancer’. On my anniversary I’d like to take you back to that day….

All of this began with my yearly pap exam back in February, which came back abnormal. It lead to a colposcopy and ECC, which lead to a LEEP and that lead to this. My LEEP was done on March 19th and I was supposed to have the results in a week. Well that week went by very slowly and although I never spoke it, I knew it was going to come back as cancer. When that week came and went without a call from my doctor my anxiety went on overload and I kept saying “I’ll give it a day or two.” I think my boyfriend got sick of me constantly worrying because once it hit the two week point he said that I had to call and find out what was going on.

On April 2nd I called and the first thing my nurse said was she was just on the phone to find out what the holdup was. She told me for some reason the pathology lab was showing they sent the results last week, but my doctors’ office had never received them. So they were expediting the results and I’d know the next day. Let me tell you, if I thought the past two weeks were long, that 24 hours was nerve racking to say the least. I knew the answer, I knew it was unlikely and crazy talk, but deep down I knew.

April 3rd, 2013: I sat on ends all day with my phone glued to my hand and always within earshot and wouldn’t you know it when the call came…I missed it! The message was from my doctor himself and I knew it was not good. The doctor never calls people! I immediately dialed back but he had left for lunch. I had to wait another excruciating 20 minutes before he’d call again and when I saw the number finally pop up on my phone my heart began to race and as I said “hello” I got up  from my desk at work and went to an office where no one was at and closed the door. I knew what he was going to say.

All I can still remember from call is doctor first retelling the mix up at the pathology, apologizing for the wait and then those words…. “You have mild invasive cancer of the cervix.”… After hearing that all I remember is hearing a buzz…my mind…my body…it all went numb and into some sort of haze and then after a few seconds it slowly started coming back to his voice talking, explain how he’d pass me along to an oncologist and him putting me at ease how this is early and very easily treatable, more than likely they’ll do a hysterectomy and that’s all I’ll need. There is a chance for radiation but more than likely just the hysterectomy.

In the following weeks I remember having periods of acceptance and periods of denial, I think it was the "mild invasive" that caused it. I kept thinking that once I met my oncologist he was going to tell me it was nothing to worry about and come back in 6 months. I’ll share more about that later as anniversary dates come.

I was a bit hesitant about blogging on this today but then I got a message from someone thanking me and it reminded me why I do share. Cervical Cancer is a gynecological cancer and one of the cancers we don’t hear too much about. Cervical, Ovarian, Uterine, Vaginal, Vulvar are all gynecological cancers and when found early, treatment is more effective. Almost half of the 78,000 women diagnosed with a gynecological cancer every year are diagnosed in the later stages. Mine was caught so early and only because of my yearly pap exam; I had no signs or symptoms. Please visit to learn more and how you can protect yourself.

Thank you so much for all your support this past year, it's ment the world to me.

F*ck Cancer! PS: I've been cancer free since May 13th 2013!

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